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By Lise Funderburg. They dodge, clam up, problem-solve when you just want them to listen, toss off "yes" or "no" answers when you were hoping to go deeper. The eternal question: What is it with them?
This site started out as a fashion and beauty blog, but quickly evolved once Eric and I saw the widespread, voracious demand for Understanding guys and relationships relationship content that focused on explaining male behavior. And I fully get it because I was once the classic girl who was left confused time and time again by the way men behaved. Once you understand a few key things about male behavior, it all will make a whole lot go sense and then you will have the gift of clarity, and clarity is empowering! Maybe you want to know what men want in a relationship, what they want in a girlfriend or wife, what makes men fall in love, or why they do the hurtful things they do.
I understand that burning need to know. And while there are universals to explain male behavior, there are of course always exceptions. I just want to throw that out there because I know everyone knows someone who defies the norm. But generally, there are universal differences between men and woman that can apply to most men and most women. And here they are:. Here is something that a lot of women may know but not really think about or realize: Men enter the realm of emotions much later in life than women.
Think about the way young girls bond. Men are also socialized not to show emotion from an early age. This is why men will often shut down and withdraw when dealing with stress or difficulties. Heavy emotions are only allowed out behind closed doors.
Men are naturally more competitive than women. Back in the days before grocery stores, men had to outperform the competition or they would either starve or be eaten by a lion. Times may have taken a turn for the more convenient, but the male competitive drive still remains. These days it manifests as guys taking competitive jobs, playing competitive sports, or just competing with each other to get the best girls.
Next, men need to feel like winners. This is Understanding guys and relationships to a man. Understanding guys and relationships will look different for every guy. For some guys, it will mean earning a prestigious position. For others, it might mean making a certain amount of money.
Relationship advice—from men
For other guys, it might mean conquering some sort of difficult physical challenge, like running a marathon or climbing a mountain. When it comes to relationships, he wants to feel like you chose him because he won you, not because you were desperate and wanted a boyfriend and any man with a pulse will do. This does not mean you play games and make him chase you.
This means you are a woman of high value.
The secret formula for understanding guys
If a guy senses that he will lose you unless he steps up, he will step up. No man is willingly going to risk losing a girl he likes to someone else. If he knows he needs to bring his A-game in order to keep you, he will. This is a classic issue that comes up over and over again in relationships.
In fact, this will only make them feel worse. When a guy is dealing with something difficult, all he wants is Understanding guys and relationships solution so he can eradicate the problem as quickly as possible. Like I said earlier, men are uncomfortable dealing with difficult emotions. So when difficult emotions arise, he wants to find the fastest route to getting rid of them. Most men see talking about a problem as a waste of time. A much better strategy is to just tell him what it is you need from him. Tell him you just need some empathy and just need someone to vent to.
Tell him that this is what will make you feel better, you just need some extra love, not a solution. Men want to make their woman happy. And like I said, men want to feel like winners.
The best gift you can give your man is clear instructions on what he can do to make you happy. This is really all he needs to be happy in a relationship! He was actually trying to avoid hurting you, but sometimes the hurt is inevitable. Or he is just so afraid of hurting you that he pushes off having the conversation. Yes, men are Understanding guys and relationships creatures. Yes, looks often matter more to men than women. But good looks will only get you so far. Looks may capture his eye, but charm and smarts and a good vibe are Understanding guys and relationships capture his heart.
Your vibe is much more powerful than mastering the heart of highlighting and contouring. A good vibe means you are in a good mood most of the time. As a result, it feels good to be around you. You bring happiness and positivity into your interactions and radiate a warmth and a light that people are naturally drawn to. Freedom for a man is more of a psychological thing. He wants to know the woman he is with will be OK with him sometimes taking some space to do things for himself.
This is actually a healthy thing in a relationship. What do men want from a relationship? Men are happy when a relationship is going well. As in no drama, no need to have heavy emotional discussions every five minutes about where things are going and where you stand.
He just wants it to be smooth and for things to feel good.
What it takes to understand guys
Above all, men want a happy woman. Men want a woman who Understanding guys and relationships happy in her life and happy in the relationship. Are the bad days some of the time or all of the time? Does a bad mood sweep in every hour throughout the day, or is it an occasional occurrence? When deciding whether to commit to a woman, men consider how it feels most of the time. Is it fun and easy and relaxed most of the time?
Or is it dark and difficult most of the time? Are you enjoying each other most of the time, or do you fight most of the time? The good news is you have full control over your mood and your happiness. You can keep the negativity away and choose to be happy. You have to pursue happiness and continue to actively maintain it.
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The is what makes people want to be around you and to be more like you. This is what changes your life for the better. Be your best self and encourage him to be his. There is no greater feeling to a man than having the freedom to just be. When you accept him for who he is and see the best in him, it naturally brings out the best in him and then he becomes the man of your dreams.
I hope this article helped you better understand how men operate. But there are two more crucial things you need to know.
At some point in a relationship, a man is going to ask himself: is this the woman I want to spend my life with? His answer will determine everything. Do you know what inspires a man to commit? Do you know what makes him see you as girlfriend or wife material? Next, at some point, he will start to pull away and may lose interest.
Understanding men: exactly how to understand men in relationships
If not, you might make one of the major relationship-killing mistakes that many women unknowingly make. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship Understanding guys and relationships and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate.
If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram. I agree with a lot of this article…but it is unrealistic to think that Understanding guys and relationships woman should just be perpetually happy and in a good mood around a man. Men need to bring things to the table as well. Women should never pretend to be happy when their needs are not being met in a relationship, regardless of what a man might think of that. Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc.
Does he spend time with you as often as he used to? Question 1 of No, he never spends time with me. It's like I don't exist. He spends more time doing random things.