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What is the most painful right now is knowing what has been lost. The past has happened and it cant be taken away so it is not lost, what has been lost is the future. I know that for as happy memories as we had in the past there are twice as in our future. I know that he can move on from the past we all have to forget parts of our past. If he loves me and wants to be my friend than why Need man for fuck Mayville he look forward to what could be and be my husband, having a few fights here and there is worth having the rest of my life with the person I gave my life to, and with time those fights and those bad feelings be replaced by new, happy memories.
I know that he gave us time, but if he was willing to do that and was happy during those years than is that such a horrible way to live?
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Those negative thoughts about the past do not go away because a ring comes off your finger, but your future does. People who get divorced because of what I did get divorced because there are other problems. Why after 2 years of trying and 14 years of being together is he so willing to quit now with out counseling?
The people who make it are people like us who have deep, who are sorry, who feel regret, who are willing to do anything to save a marriage.
We are supposed to be the ones who make it. I guess I was just never enough, I cant give him the, reassurance, comfort, security, friendship, or the apology that would make him me enough to come back to me. He wants to say he cant push the thoughts aside but really he cant let or be stronger than negativity. I know that we can make it, I know we can get past the fighting and have a lifelong marriage. I know that if he would just come home I would do anything to make his negative thoughts go away and fill his life with as much happiness as I can, I know all of this Need man for fuck Mayville he wont give me a to show him.
I cry not because of the pain of life without him but because I know life without him is wrong and it does not need to be that way. I all comes down to one question, how can he me the way he says he does, and still kiss and hold me like he used to but have ending our marriage come so easily to him?
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