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I find it helpful to view these common not-so-common heartaches through the lens of objectivity tinged with compassion; I know how it feels to be heartbroken, lost, confused, exhausted with the effort to find nurture a reciprocal partnership. To that end, I wrote a piece about my biggest struggle in my romantic life and thought I'd offer it up for comment, should people be interested in taking a look. Born unto uncertain fate, we must win the devotion of those around us in order that we survive.

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When we succeed, to whatever extent we do, we codify the process by which this was achieved; it becomes The Writ Of. For better, or worse. So, your picker is broken.

Yet regardless of the veracity of the assertion, its implication got under my skin; that I am somehow fundamentally incapable of selecting a good partner for myself. I have been devoted to the considerable work of tending to myself for the first time in my life and I have made such progress as to render myself nearly unrecognizably happy and content.

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So then, I bridle at the prospect that any part of me is broken. Instead I can approach myself with compassionate understanding that my template, formed a lifetime ago, was based on a attained only through absolute prescient submission to and whim alike.

And while I can intellectually encounter this information with full realization of its incapacity to nurture a, supportive, reciprocal, I cannot yet divest myself of the emotional responses inherent to that model. Which means I both attract and am attracted to, bullies. Not the best news, ever.

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