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Randy is an educator in the areas of relationships and self-help. Read full profile. Relationships never exist by themselves in a vacuum. When two emotional beings come together, they bring their own past experiences and expectations. It can sound like relationships will inevitably deteriorate, but in the corner for relationships is communication.

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If you need to improve communication skills in a relationshipthat can feel like a big, overwhelming task. But it's one that has to happen, because it makes every part of your relationship better.

How to communicate in a relationship

Michele Kerulisrelationships and dating expert and professor at Counseling Northwestern tells Bustle. It's crucial to a relationship — but it's also a really easy thing to tweak.

So don't be stressed if you feel like you're not communicating properly. Because the thing about communication that you need to remember is that it's the little things that make a huge difference.

Relationships and communication

Yes, it's really important to be able to disagree and fight well. In fact, being able to fight in a compassionate way can save a relationship. But if your daily communication skills are on point, then actually those big conversations aren't so scary. Because you know you have the skills to reach each other and you do it before any issue gets out of control. So focus on the day-to-day things. Here are little ways you can make your communication skills a lot better:.

Check in every day. Asking "How are you?

5 easy ways to communicate better in your relationship

How was your day? It's easy to get worked up in your own head about something, but never actually reach out to the other person. Never assume you know what they're thinking— reach out instead. Communication isn't just about talking, it's about being an active listener.

Why communication fails

Who is an active listener? So make sure you're really in the moment. Little digs can build up. If you have a problem, say it. Don't make little commends — they're immature and they will slowly corrode your relationship. Just like you should ask how they are every day, you need to check in about the big stuff too.

Make sure that you ask, "How do you feel about us?

15 little ways to improve communication in your relationship

It gives you both an important platform to air concerns. Part of having positive conversation and communication is having a positive attitude. Don't approach problems as though they're impossible to solve.

If your partner is reaching out to you, be there to meet them. A person should look for someone who responds to them, or at least acknowledges them when they try to get their attention, because it shows that they are meeting your emotional needs —or at least trying to. Whether it's just talking about their day or trying to discuss big issues, recognize that they're reaching out and meet them.

If you know you have a stressful time coming up, touch base beforehand. When I had family stress, I said to my partner, "This is happening. I'm sorry if I'm a little all over the place for the next week or two. So simple. Being able to talk about sex openly doesn't just mean you'll both be more satisfied.

It shows a real connection. You don't need to be into dirty talk to communicate during sex.

17 tactics to drastically improve communication in relationships

Giving verbal cues is great, but moaning, leading their hands, even just saying what feels good are all great ways to make sure that the communication is happening in all areas of your relationship — bedroom included. I'm logical. So logical that, in times of stress, it can appear a bit dispassionate.

It's not dispassionate — I'm feeling a lot— but it doesn't come across. If you're like me, try to focus on feeling language. Talk about how you're feeling and affected by things. It's done wonders for me.

So often we bring something up when we're feeling frustrated or annoyed. But pick your timing. Don't bring up a big problem if there's no time to discuss it properly. Don't approach your partner with a bunch of small problems while the stressing about something big.

You'll know when it's a good time. If you get too comfortable with each other, it's easy to only bring things up if they're bothering you. You start to get complacent about the good things and take them for granted, which can breed resentment.

Keep pointing out what you appreciate and love about each other. Communication doesn't all have to be serious, in fact keeping up the way you flirted when you first met is important to your relationship. It might feel as though communication is all about those big, deep conversations. In reality, it's all about maintaining the little things. Having a strong foundation will put you in a much better position for those tricky talks. By Lea Rose Emery.